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In other words, the Aquatic Ape Theory explains all of these features, but it explains them all twice.
Every one of the features encompassed by the theory still requires a reason for it to be maintained after hominids left the aquatic environment.
Every one of these reasons probably would be sufficient to explain the evolution of the traits in the absence of the aquatic environment.
This is more than unparsimonious.
It leaves the Aquatic Ape Theory explaining nothing whatsoever about the evolution of the hominids.
This is why professional anthropologists reject the theory, even if they haven't fully thought through the logic.

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