Page "Li'l Abner" Paragraph 51

* Jubilation T. Cornpone: Dogpatch's founder and most famous son, memorialized by a town statue, is Confederate General Jubilation T. Cornpone — renowned for " Cornpone's Retreat ," " Cornpone's Disaster ," " Cornpone's Misjudgment ," and " Cornpone's Hoomiliation.

" Cornpone was such a disastrously incompetent military leader that he came to be considered an important asset of the opposing side.

According to the stage play, the statue was commissioned by a grateful President Abraham Lincoln!

( In one storyline, the General's statue is filled with Kickapoo Joy juice, which brings it to " life.

" It then goes on a rampage, beheading all the statues of Union Army generals.

As the U. S. Army can't destroy it — since it's a National Monument — Kickapoo Joy Juice is poured into a Union statue, which then charges the Cornpone statue.

When the smoke clears, the animated statues have annihilated each other.

) The hapless general is really best known for being the namesake of the rousing showstopper in the popular Li ' l Abner musical, as sung by Marryin ' Sam and chorus.