Page "Roseanne Roseannadanna" Paragraph 9

For example, she was talking about eating a hamburger in a restaurant and how she felt something hard in it.

And she spit it out and it was white and looked like a toenail.

She said, " I thought I was gonna die.

I mean, what was a toenail doing in my hamburger?

" Then she went to the restroom and on the way to the restroom she saw Princess Lee Radziwill who she described as the " classy lady that no one knows where she's the princess of.

" But what the Princess didn't know was she had a tiny piece of toilet paper hanging off her shoe, and she was walking around and the toilet paper wouldn't fall off.

" I thought I was gonna be sick.

So I says to her, ' Hey Princess Lee — what are ya tryin ' to do, make me sick?

' " So Jane Curtin asked her what this had to do with anything.

Roseanne said, " Well it just goes to show you, it's always something, you either got a toenail in your hamburger or toilet paper clinging to your shoe.