Still, I was disgusted with myself for agreeing with Montero's methods.

Having nothing else to do except wait for my forms to be processed, I gave myself over to speculations concerning the hall itself.

I had for some time been hoping, in vain, for one of the dim figures to pass between the fan vents and myself.

The design is determined emotionally: `` I must reach into myself for the spring that will send me catapulting recklessly into the chaos of event with which the dance confronts me ''.

Once, then -- for how many years or how few does not matter -- my world was bound round by fences, when I was too small to reach the apple tree bough, to twist my knee over it and pull myself up.

A dear, respected friend of mine, who like myself grew up in the South and has spent many years in New England, said to me not long ago: `` I can't forgive New England for rejecting all complicity ''.

Also, I am convinced that if my company were a sole proprietorship instead of a partnership, I would have been even abler to solve long-range problems for myself and my fellow-employees.

Later Helion wrote of this phase: `` For years I built for myself a subtle instrument of relationships -- colors and forms without a name.

`` I arrived in the United States with the idea of establishing myself there more or less permanently and finding inspiration for new compositions ''.

Here Wright gave a slight sigh of weariness, and continued, `` It means more long years lived across the social grain of the life of our people, making shift to live in the face of popular disrespect and misunderstanding as I best can for myself and those dependent upon me ''.

Although his tender nights were not the ones I dreamed of, nor was it for yachts, sports cars, tall drinks, and swimming pools, nor yet for money or what money buys that I burned, I too was burning and watching myself burn.

I fled, however, not from what might have been the natural fear of being unable to disguise from you that the things about my bridegroom -- in the sense you meant the word `` things '' -- which you had been galvanizing yourself to tell me as a painful part of your maternal duty were things which I had already insisted upon finding out for myself ( despite, I may now say, the unspeakable awkwardness of making the discovery on principle, yes, on principle, and in cold blood ) because I was resolved, as a modern woman, not to be a mollycoddle waiting for Life but to seize Life by the throat.

To you, for instance, the word innocence, in this connotation, probably retained its Biblical, or should I say technical sense, and therefore I suppose I must make myself quite clear by saying that I lost -- or rather handed over -- what you would have considered to be my innocence two weeks before I was legally entitled, and in fact by oath required, to hand it over along with what other goods and bads I had.

The result was that I found myself in the ridiculous position of having made a formal engagement by letter for the next week, only two days before my departure from London.

Master Gorton, having foully abused high and low at Aquidneck is now bewitching and bemaddening poor Providence, both with his unclean and foul censures of all the ministers of this country ( for which myself have in Christ's name withstood him ), and also denying all visible and external ordinances in depth of Familism: almost all suck in his poison, as at first they did at Aquidneck.

In fact I cannot imagine myself condemning a man to the noose or the electric chair if I had to take, as an individual, the responsibility for his death.

I would like very much, on behalf of my husband and myself, to send our eternal thanks to all the wonderful people responsible for the Gabrielle Fund.

Even apart from the fact that now at the age of 31 my personal life is being totally disrupted for the second time for no very compelling reason -- I cannot help looking around at the black leather jacket brigades standing idly on the street corners and in the taverns of every American city and asking myself if our society has gone mad.

I know that I myself felt that it was a mortal shame for a man to be torn open by a British musket ball, as Isaac had been, yet I also felt relieved and lucky that it had been him and not myself.

She said, `` I guess the Lord looks out for fools, drunkards, and innocents ''.

I saw the clergyman kneel for a moment by the twitching body of the man he had shot, then run back to his position.

Now under me I could see him for what he really was, a boy dressed up in streaks of paint.

He pointed out the switch to me and for a moment I foolishly believed that he would let deed follow words.

Now, here was something of obvious importance to me, yet when I reached for the tickets he snatched them away from my hand.

For although I had crossed a corner of the hall on my way to the toilet I still could not tell for sure how far to the rear the darkness extended.

It was, I felt, possible that they were men who, having received no tickets for that day, had remained in the hall, to sleep perhaps, in the corners farthest removed from the counter with its overhead light.

I was constantly searching for clues around the neighborhood of the hall.

I returned to the hall, despite my dislike for the clerk.

When I went for my interview with the director I saw why.

No one was behind it, but in the rear wall of the office I noticed, for the first time, a door which had been left partially open.

Was I sure, he asked, that I knew what I was applying for??

Though I doubted that he would understand me, I told the director my motives for applying.

He said in a studied voice, `` I didn't do it for you.

I did it for the valley.

I was just doing my job, just following orders, and for that he's going to kill me.

If he had married her, he'd have been asking for trouble.

His plans and dreams had revolved around her so much and for so long that now he felt as if he had nothing.

He knew who was riding after him -- the men he had known all his life, the men who had worked for him, sworn their loyalty to him.

And, for the sake of Julia and Susan, it had to be tried.

Hell, they were fightin' each other so hard they had no time for anyone else.

He had been the auditor for the mining syndicate, and he had stolen fifty thousand dollars of the syndicate's money.

He had done time for the theft.

That mistake, she thought, had cost her dearly these past few days, and she wanted to avoid falling into any more of the traps that the mountain might set for her.

She seemed to have come such a long distance -- too far for her destination which had wilfully been swallowed up in the greedy gloom of the trees.

Never, he'd once told Joyce, had he encountered any man or situation that called for a gun.

A wildcatter had to be prepared for almost any emergency.

That was the day that he had practically mopped up the main street of Big Sands with Aaron McBride, field boss for the Highlands Oil & Gas Company.

Tom had been laying for Aaron McBride for a long time, just waiting to catch him out of line.

He had a legitimate reason for wearing it.

Hank had gathered wood for a cookfire, and his wife was busy at it now.