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Page "Anaïs Nin" ¶ 18
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I and had
And you wanted no part of me when I had so much to give.
As I dug in behind one of the bales we were using as protection, I grudgingly found myself agreeing with Oso's logic, especially when I imagined what would have happened to Missy if Old Knife's large party of screeching warriors had overrun our company.
In the brief moment I had to talk to them before I took my post on the ring of defenses, I indicated I was sickened by the methods men employed to live and trade on the river.
Next to him was a young boy I was sure had sat near me at one of the trading sessions.
At first I thought he had missed.
I saw the clergyman kneel for a moment by the twitching body of the man he had shot, then run back to his position.
Later I would remember what this pompous little man had told me about the worth of a ticket.
One afternoon, upon receiving permission and the necessary instructions from the clerk, I had visited the toilet adjoining the hall.
For although I had crossed a corner of the hall on my way to the toilet I still could not tell for sure how far to the rear the darkness extended.
I could observe the two fans down at the end, but their size in themselves meant nothing to me as long as I had no measure of comparison.
I had for some time been hoping, in vain, for one of the dim figures to pass between the fan vents and myself.
It was, I felt, possible that they were men who, having received no tickets for that day, had remained in the hall, to sleep perhaps, in the corners farthest removed from the counter with its overhead light.
And I had hardly finished my business in the toilet on the aforementioned occasion when the lights in that place, like the hall lights controlled from the switch in the office, flicked off and on impatiently.
I had signed it off on the forms.
Although I had been inside it I had not yet seen it functioning.

I and never
`` I never felt better in my life '', Fiske blustered.
I would turn away from my writing in the hope of getting a good look at them but I never quite succeeded.
) hung on a hook on the wall, and underneath it I could see his tie, knotted, ready to be slipped over his head, a black badge of frayed respectability that ought never to have left his neck.
For weeks I wandered about this neighborhood of warehouses and garages, truck terminals and taxi repair shops, gasoline pumps and longshoremen's lunch counters, yet never did I cease to feel myself a stranger there.
`` I never saw him.
But there's one thing I never seen or heard of, one thing I just don't think there is, and that's a sportin' way o' killin' a man ''!!
I never wear anything at all.
`` No, I never did see his face.
I can never pronounce it ''.
Though I had a great dread of the island and felt I would never leave it alive, I eagerly wrote down everything she told me about its women.
Never, never did I offer him the exclusive rights.
`` I never heard that ''.
I never heard of a poll being taken on the question.
`` As an independent American I considered all who were not for us, and you amongst the rest, as against us, yet be assured that John Jay never ceased to be the friend of Peter Van Schaack ''.
His first inaugural address speaks of `` my country whose voice I can never hear but with veneration and love ''.
But I would never have thought of it myself ''.
Then, after overtures to accept a settlement and go through with a divorce, Miriam gave a ghastly echo of Mrs. Micawber by suddenly stating, `` I will never leave Mr. Wright ''.
From her California headquarters, Miriam fired back, `` I shall never divorce Mr. Wright, to permit him to marry Olga Milanoff ''.
), I have never wanted to know what you knew of passion.
You probably would not remember, since you never seemed to remember even the same moments as I, much less their intensity, one sunny midday on Fifth Avenue when you had set out with me for some final shopping less than a week before the wedding you staged for me with such reluctance at the Farm.

I and read
I had the impression that he had read my forms, perhaps several times.
Looking back I saw a gray-haired man getting out of his halted car and trying to read our license number.
If it were not for an old professor who made me read the classics I would have been stymied on what to do, and now I understand why they are classics ; ;
`` When I was in college '', I grinned, `` I remember a poem I had to read in my lit class.
I had read the story many times without asking myself why it affected me or caring why it did.
It would be profitable, I believe, to read these realistic humorists alongside Faulkner's works, the thought being not that he necessarily read them and owed anything to them directly, but rather that they dealt a hundred years ago with a class of people and a type of life which have continued down to our time, to Faulkner's time.
`` My mother read a book right after I was born and there was a Lilian in the book she loved and I became Lilian -- and eventually I became Paula ''.
I was familiar with Pilgrim's Progress, which I read as literature.
A few weeks ago, I read in the Bulletin that there were to be given Chinese classes in Cranston.
The following week, I read in the Sunday paper that the students of Russia begin European and Asian languages in the seventh grade.
Sir -- I read of a man who felt he should not build a fallout shelter in his home because it would be selfish for him to sit secure while his neighbors had no shelters.
Our litterbug ordinances are not enforced and I have yet to read of a conviction in a littering case.
I would hope that Sargent Shriver will encourage everyone entering the Peace Corps to read it.
`` I have read an advance copy of the Snow book which is to be titled, ' Science And Government.
Then epistolatory me was a foreign correspondent dispatching exciting cables and communiques, full of dash and wit and glamor, quoting from the books I read, imitating the grand styles of the authors recommended by a teacher in whose special, after-school class I was enrolled.
I made inquiries, I read a book of etiquette.

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