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Page "editorial" ¶ 693
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I and hope
I would turn away from my writing in the hope of getting a good look at them but I never quite succeeded.
Suddenly a treble auto horn tootley-toot-tootled, and, thumbing hopefully, I saw emergent in windshield flash: red lips, streaming silk of blonde hair and -- ah, trembling confusion of hope, apprehension, despair -- the leering face of old Herry.
A man must be able to say, `` Father, I have sinned '', or there is no hope for him.
I left behind me brave men, whom captivity had robbed of all hope.
While my memory holds with relentless tenacity, as I cannot too often stress, to my wrongs, when it comes to my shames, it gestures and jokes and toys with chronology like a prestidigitator in the hope of distracting me from them.
However, I confess my hope that I will be innocent again, not with a pristine, accidental innocence, but rather with an innocence achieved by the slow cutting away of the flesh to reach the bone.
I still have the dress, and I hope to give it to the Smithsonian Institution as a memento, or, as I more fondly hope, to present it to a museum containing articles showing the daily lives of the Presidents -- if I can get it organized.
but this -- yes, terrible step I am about to take is lightened with an inundating joy by the new-found hope that here, in these poems, is treasure -- or at least some measure of beauty, which I did not know of ''.
Harcourt replied: `` I do really hope you can achieve serenity in the course of time.
Of course I hope Hal can also, but those hopes are much more faint ''.
The reason is, I think, my awareness that my remarks last quarter on pacifism may well have served to confirm the opinion of some that my tendency to skepticism and dissent gets us nowhere, and that I am simply too old to hope.
She asked if I had other advice and, heady with success, I rushed it in, I hope not too late.

I and man
I made you a man ''.
I saw the clergyman kneel for a moment by the twitching body of the man he had shot, then run back to his position.
I felt certain he was really a spineless little man.
Later I would remember what this pompous little man had told me about the worth of a ticket.
As he lowered himself on the chair behind his desk I wondered what this dapper, slightly ridiculous man could possibly have to do with the workings of the hall.
But there's one thing I never seen or heard of, one thing I just don't think there is, and that's a sportin' way o' killin' a man ''!!
Looking back I saw a gray-haired man getting out of his halted car and trying to read our license number.
The rest of the time I devoted to painting or to those other activities a young and healthy man just out of college finds interesting.
True, she was my Aunt, married to an Uncle related to me only by marriage, but why she had married a man twice her age, and more, perhaps, I did not know or much care.
The big man with the whitened hair murmured something: his words sounded as if they were in the Manu tongue, which I recognized, having studied the dialect in my Anthropology 6, class at the University of Chicago.
I expected Brassnose -- as a man with a strain of Melanesian in his blood -- to speak to them.
I clapped the big man with the bleached hair on his shoulder and said heartily, hoping it would make an impression on the women: `` This one is the maku Frayne.
`` I am an honest man '', the German said with fervor.
`` No, I don't think so '', said the big man, and it was the final clincher for Ernie.
`` I have just come from viewing a man who had made the fortune of his country, but now is working all night in order to support his family '', he reflected.
I knew that a conversation with the author would not settle such questions, because a man is not the same as his writing: in the last analysis, the questions had to be settled by the work itself.
`` I scanned the world through printed symbol swart, And through the beggar's rags I strove to see The inner man.
But I have been at some pains to review it as the drama of the common man, to point up what happened to him under Eisenhower's leadership.
Said: `` There are things I must tell you about this man you are marrying which he does not know himself ''.
Carl thought the question over slowly and answered: `` I know a starving man who is fed never remembers all the pangs of his starvation, I know that ''.
I remember one day when Mr. Hearst ( and I never knew why he liked me, either ) sent the Hetman a telegram: `` Please find some more reporters like that young man from Denver ''.

I and who
It was, I felt, possible that they were men who, having received no tickets for that day, had remained in the hall, to sleep perhaps, in the corners farthest removed from the counter with its overhead light.
If it were not for an old professor who made me read the classics I would have been stymied on what to do, and now I understand why they are classics ; ;
I worked for my Uncle ( an Uncle by marriage so you will not think this has a mild undercurrent of incest ) who ran one of those antique shops in New Orleans' Vieux Carre, the old French Quarter.
My new Aunt was perhaps three or four years older than I and it had been a long time since I had seen as gorgeous a woman who oozed sex.
I don't even remember who wrote it but it was one of those 15th or 16th century poets.
If it were not that I knew who it was I could have mistaken it for my Aunt so well did her clothes fit him.
In the hut to which I was assigned -- Max had his own quarters -- my food was brought to me by a wrinkled crone with bare drooping breasts who seemed to enjoy conversing with me in rudimentary phrases.
When I question them as to what they mean by concepts like liberty and democracy, I find that they fall into two categories: the simpler ones who have simply accepted the shibboleths of their faith without analysis ; ;
I asked the same questions inside the launch-control rooms of an Atlas missile base in Wyoming, where officers who wear sidearms are manning the `` commit buttons '' that could start a war -- accidentally or by design -- and in the command centers where other pistol-packing men could give orders to push such buttons.
I persuaded an Australian friend who had lived `` outback '' for years to take me to see some aborigines living in the bush.
I don't mean a few aesthetes who play about with sensations, like a young prince in a miniature dabbling his hand in a pool.
`` Now that Bruno Walter is virtually in retirement and my dear friend Dimitri Mitropoulos is no longer with us, I am probably the only one -- with the possible exception of Leonard Bernstein -- who has this special affinity for and champions the works of Bruckner and Mahler ''.
`` As an independent American I considered all who were not for us, and you amongst the rest, as against us, yet be assured that John Jay never ceased to be the friend of Peter Van Schaack ''.
I think that we are here also talking of the kind of fear that a young boy has for a group of boys who are approaching at night along the streets of a large city.
Given a theological lead, I asked what he thinks about those who find a religious significance to his plays.
I must confess that I prefer the Liberal who is personally affected, who is willing to send his own children to a mixed school as proof of his faith.
A dear, respected friend of mine, who like myself grew up in the South and has spent many years in New England, said to me not long ago: `` I can't forgive New England for rejecting all complicity ''.

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