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Page "humor" ¶ 47
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I and never
`` I never felt better in my life '', Fiske blustered.
I would turn away from my writing in the hope of getting a good look at them but I never quite succeeded.
) hung on a hook on the wall, and underneath it I could see his tie, knotted, ready to be slipped over his head, a black badge of frayed respectability that ought never to have left his neck.
For weeks I wandered about this neighborhood of warehouses and garages, truck terminals and taxi repair shops, gasoline pumps and longshoremen's lunch counters, yet never did I cease to feel myself a stranger there.
`` I never saw him.
But there's one thing I never seen or heard of, one thing I just don't think there is, and that's a sportin' way o' killin' a man ''!!
I never wear anything at all.
`` No, I never did see his face.
I can never pronounce it ''.
Though I had a great dread of the island and felt I would never leave it alive, I eagerly wrote down everything she told me about its women.
Never, never did I offer him the exclusive rights.
`` I never heard that ''.
I never heard of a poll being taken on the question.
`` As an independent American I considered all who were not for us, and you amongst the rest, as against us, yet be assured that John Jay never ceased to be the friend of Peter Van Schaack ''.
His first inaugural address speaks of `` my country whose voice I can never hear but with veneration and love ''.
But I would never have thought of it myself ''.
Then, after overtures to accept a settlement and go through with a divorce, Miriam gave a ghastly echo of Mrs. Micawber by suddenly stating, `` I will never leave Mr. Wright ''.
From her California headquarters, Miriam fired back, `` I shall never divorce Mr. Wright, to permit him to marry Olga Milanoff ''.
), I have never wanted to know what you knew of passion.
You probably would not remember, since you never seemed to remember even the same moments as I, much less their intensity, one sunny midday on Fifth Avenue when you had set out with me for some final shopping less than a week before the wedding you staged for me with such reluctance at the Farm.

I and thought
My God, how long is he going to wait, I thought.
At first I thought he had missed.
`` I thought I told you to stay home ''.
The way his red rubber lips were stretched across his pearly little teeth I thought he was only having a little joke, but, no, he wanted me to bend down from the roar of wind so he could roar something into my ear.
You thought I was a Mexican, didn't you, buddy ''??
Suddenly and not a second too soon I thought of the coins in my pocket.
Maybe Lou was only unconscious, but right then I thought he must be dead.
I thought I saw a faint surge of color rise to her neck and quickly suffuse her cheeks.
At first, I thought he was out of his head, talking wildly like this.
Ramey smiled but he thought to himself, I always see me too.
`` When I came up, damnit, I thought I was going down.
But when it happens to you like that, I tell you, and you're a hundred feet from where you thought you were -- well, it makes you think.
That, I thought, is at least one thing I can find out when we meet.
I used his polarity to illustrate what I thought had happened to us in that form of liberalism we call Progressivism.
`` I hated the war '', he said, `` but thought I ought to go because I was, perhaps, one of those who hadn't done enough to prevent it ''.
It would be profitable, I believe, to read these realistic humorists alongside Faulkner's works, the thought being not that he necessarily read them and owed anything to them directly, but rather that they dealt a hundred years ago with a class of people and a type of life which have continued down to our time, to Faulkner's time.

I and I'd
`` So help me, Crouch, I'd like to kill you where you stand, but, before I do, I'm going to hear you admit killing him.
Rod shifted his eager eyes from the milling group out in the circle long enough to reply, `` I ain't much of a hand for Dare-Base and Farmer-in-the-Dell, but I'd sure like to get in on the handhold and wrestles ''.
There had been a good second or two during which my muffler had been blowing out, and now I was certain I'd seen her somewhere before.
The keys were still in it, and I was miles away before I remembered that my clothes and purse and everything were still in the little cabana where I'd changed ''.
She realized I'd have to notify the police, but fervently hoped I could avoid mentioning her name.
`` I'm gonna drop these into Blue Throat's lap '', he announced, `` and I'd like every gun to be firing into that barn while I get near enough to toss 'em through the window ''.
I might not make any money but I'd sure have patients ''.
For a while there was such shrill girlish commotion I couldn't have made myself heard if I'd had the equivalent of the message to Garcia.
I'd have been more impressed if I hadn't remembered that she'd played Hedda Gabler in her highschool dramatics course.
I'd forgotten all about Thelma and the Kentucky Derby and how it was Thelma's fifty dollars I was spending.
I did have the decency to call up Thelma and tell her I'd met old friends and would be home late.
I wrote her that I'd met up with Eileen and that old bonds had proved too strong and asked her to send my clothes down by express.
`` I'd give anything if I could have found a girl like you ''.
`` I don't know what I'd do without my family.
`` There are things about me that I can't tell you now, Mary Jane '', I said, `` but if you'll go out to dinner with me when I get out of Hanover, I'd like to tell you the whole story.
I had been among the top third in my class at N.Y.U., had wanted desperately to go to medical school, but I'd run out of money and energy at the same time.
I knew that I'd soon be back working as an orderly at the hospital or as a counterman at Union News or Schraffts while waiting for another acting job to open.
I put in new batteries so as to be certain I'd have plenty of power and on my way out walked over to the regular parking stalls and stood looking at them thoughtfully.
I'd think that you even more than I would be wondering what they're up to.
I was hoping I'd hear from you today ''.
I would have been negligent and a goddam lousy cop to boot, if I'd sat around this station all night when somebody got away with murder in my district.

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