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Page "George Mackay Brown" ¶ 5
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I and remember
I remember being told it would happen so fast people would think it took place overnight.
Later I would remember what this pompous little man had told me about the worth of a ticket.
It was a disturbingly familiar face, too, but I couldn't remember where we had met.
`` When I was in college '', I grinned, `` I remember a poem I had to read in my lit class.
I don't even remember who wrote it but it was one of those 15th or 16th century poets.
`` Seems to me I don't remember altering any law about that ''.
You probably would not remember, since you never seemed to remember even the same moments as I, much less their intensity, one sunny midday on Fifth Avenue when you had set out with me for some final shopping less than a week before the wedding you staged for me with such reluctance at the Farm.
When I returned to make my report, the Hetman did not remember having sent me on the secret mission.
I remember one day when Mr. Hearst ( and I never knew why he liked me, either ) sent the Hetman a telegram: `` Please find some more reporters like that young man from Denver ''.
I cannot remember Dr. Gregory's reply, if, indeed, he made one.
After they had paid all his debts and the funeral costs, Ralph and Fred had some fourteen thousand dollars, as I remember, with which to pay the bequests.
I remember him pointing out of the window and saying that he wished he could live to see another spring but that he wouldn't.
I have known some men and women who said that the selves they are told about or even remember seem utter strangers to them now ; ;
I would, however, like to suggest that, wrong though I may be, the tendency to see dilemmas rather than solutions is one of which I have been a victim ever since I can remember, and therefore not merely a senile phenomenon.
Apropos of what some would call cynicism, I remember an anecdote the source of which I forget.
All I could remember was Billie Dove pasted over the ceiling of my big brother's room.

I and thinking
I dismissed these feelings as wishful thinking but I could not get it out of my head that we had a strong physical attraction for one another and we both feared to dwell on it because of our relationship.
I was thinking about that.
He was thinking, big deal: skipper on his drunken fishing parties for seven years and no better off than when I started.
`` I might try it one of these days '', Jack said wonderingly, thinking of Miss Langford.
I suppose the reason is a kind of wishful thinking: don't talk about the final stages of Reconstruction and they will take care of themselves.
`` You know '', Norton said to me later, `` I am thinking of setting up the Klinico Brownapopolus.
I keep thinking of a young woman I knew during the Occupation in Austria.
I knew better but I was thinking of the Pedersen kid mother-naked in all that dough.
He was awful angry because he'd thought Ma was going to do something big, something heroic even, especially for her I know him I know him we felt the same sometimes while Ma wasn't thinking about that at all, not anything like that.
I sighed, thinking that among other things, people here seemed to be those who would have to cut down if they earned less than $85,000 yearly ; ;
`` I'll try '', I said, and sat for a moment thinking.
She says later, but still within the opening five minutes, `` I keep thinking of a divorce but that's another emotional death ''.
I insisted on takeing the field and prevailed -- thinking that I had better die by rebel bullets than ( by ) Union quackery ''.
God knows what the African nations, who hold 25 per cent of the voting stock in the U.N. were thinking -- they may, for example, have been thinking of the U.S. abstention when the vote on Algerian freedom was before the Assembly -- but I think I have a fairly accurate notion of what the Negroes in the gallery were thinking.
She knew that I lived at a good address on the Gold Coast, that I had once been a medical student and was thinking of returning to the university to finish my medical studies.

I and myself
As I dug in behind one of the bales we were using as protection, I grudgingly found myself agreeing with Oso's logic, especially when I imagined what would have happened to Missy if Old Knife's large party of screeching warriors had overrun our company.
Still, I was disgusted with myself for agreeing with Montero's methods.
Having nothing else to do except wait for my forms to be processed, I gave myself over to speculations concerning the hall itself.
I had for some time been hoping, in vain, for one of the dim figures to pass between the fan vents and myself.
I wished to prepare myself but did not even know what sort of clothes I ought to be wearing.
For weeks I wandered about this neighborhood of warehouses and garages, truck terminals and taxi repair shops, gasoline pumps and longshoremen's lunch counters, yet never did I cease to feel myself a stranger there.
If I could make myself feel the same way
I myself was fond of him but what a young woman half his age saw in him was a mystery to me.
Time's editor, Thomas Griffith, in his book, The Waist-High Culture, wrote: `` most of what was different about it ( the Deep South ) I found myself unsympathetic to.
The design is determined emotionally: `` I must reach into myself for the spring that will send me catapulting recklessly into the chaos of event with which the dance confronts me ''.
But I would never have thought of it myself ''.
Once, then -- for how many years or how few does not matter -- my world was bound round by fences, when I was too small to reach the apple tree bough, to twist my knee over it and pull myself up.
A dear, respected friend of mine, who like myself grew up in the South and has spent many years in New England, said to me not long ago: `` I can't forgive New England for rejecting all complicity ''.
Also, I am convinced that if my company were a sole proprietorship instead of a partnership, I would have been even abler to solve long-range problems for myself and my fellow-employees.
I had read the story many times without asking myself why it affected me or caring why it did.
Later Helion wrote of this phase: `` For years I built for myself a subtle instrument of relationships -- colors and forms without a name.
`` I arrived in the United States with the idea of establishing myself there more or less permanently and finding inspiration for new compositions ''.
Here Wright gave a slight sigh of weariness, and continued, `` It means more long years lived across the social grain of the life of our people, making shift to live in the face of popular disrespect and misunderstanding as I best can for myself and those dependent upon me ''.
Although his tender nights were not the ones I dreamed of, nor was it for yachts, sports cars, tall drinks, and swimming pools, nor yet for money or what money buys that I burned, I too was burning and watching myself burn.

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