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Page "Phonograph" ¶ 36
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I and was
`` That was a terrible thing to do '', I said to Oso.
`` But that was war '', I said.
Still, I was disgusted with myself for agreeing with Montero's methods.
In the brief moment I had to talk to them before I took my post on the ring of defenses, I indicated I was sickened by the methods men employed to live and trade on the river.
Next to him was a young boy I was sure had sat near me at one of the trading sessions.
Now under me I could see him for what he really was, a boy dressed up in streaks of paint.
Such was my state of mind that I did not question the possibility of this ; ;
under the circumstances I was only too willing to confess all.
I was nearly thirty at the time.
It was dark and, I sensed, very large ; ;
Sometimes I was aware of people moving about in the darkness.
This impressed me, until I realized how limited was his sphere of influence.
I felt certain he was really a spineless little man.
Once, pressing him, I learned that his job was only part-time, in the afternoons when nothing went on in the hall.
In the mornings, I was informed, fluorescent tubes, similar to the one above the counter, illuminated the entire hall.
I was shown, instead, a batch of white tickets of the sort handed out, he told me, every morning.
Now, here was something of obvious importance to me, yet when I reached for the tickets he snatched them away from my hand.
It was, I felt, possible that they were men who, having received no tickets for that day, had remained in the hall, to sleep perhaps, in the corners farthest removed from the counter with its overhead light.
I felt certain it was self-appointed.
I decided to see no more of the clerk until the processing of my papers was completed.
I was constantly searching for clues around the neighborhood of the hall.

I and always
I knew that three or four of them were almost always present in the hall, but what they were doing, and exactly where, I could not tell.
I had always, I said, hankered after working hard with my hands.
Ramey smiled but he thought to himself, I always see me too.
At a party an English intellectual -- so-called -- asked me why I write always about distress.
But all this, I am well aware, is the bel canto of love, and although I have always liked to think that it was to the bel canto and to that alone that I listened, I know well enough that it was not.
The daughter, Lilly, was a very good friend of mine and I always had hopes that someday she and Meltzer would find each other.
I would have liked the town and the busyness of its people but I always followed Lilly into the peace of the silent and unstaring road.
I had always thought of that lovable man as many years older than myself, although he was perhaps only twenty years older, and he confirmed my feeling, along with the feeling of both my sons, that teachers of the classics are invariably endearing.
If it proclaims that the best is yet to be, it always arouses, at least in the young, either a suspicious question or perhaps the exclamation of the Negro youth who saw on a tombstone the inscription, `` I am not dead but sleeping ''.
But I will also remind them that I have always been inclined to skepticism, to a kind of Laodicean lack of commitment so far as public affairs are concerned ; ;
At about the age of twelve I became a Spencerian liberal, and I have always considered myself a liberal of some kind even though the definition has changed repeatedly since Spencer became a reactionary.
The concern they felt for me was such as I shall never forget and for which I will always be grateful.
( He always smiles -- at least at visitors, I gather.
`` I imagine you're always battling in school ''.
`` I'm dressed as I always am '', Rousseau said.
What I did know was that Precious was always around.

I and afraid
`` I was afraid of this.
I felt a queasiness in my own stomach but it wouldn't do to show these girls that we were afraid.
I had developed too foolproof a facade to be afraid of self-betrayal.
And to top it all I am often sentimental on purpose, trying to prove to myself that I am not afraid of sentiment.
The young banker looked at him with a certain surprise, and then he said flatly: `` I'm afraid I can't tell you anything in particular about Kent House.
I was drunk with excitement and the smell of gunpowder that came floating down from the road, and the fact that I was not afraid now, but only waiting to know what to do next.
To Abel: `` I am afraid there is not much to amuse small children here.
In I wanted to tell him, but I was afraid to the final to is lightly stressed because it represents to tell him.
Another Reb writing under similar circumstances before Atlanta reported: `` the Yankees keep shooting so I am afraid they will knock over my ink, so I will close ''.
`` I asked her why she couldn't do it tomorrow, but it seems the muse is working good tonight and she's afraid to let it go ''.
of whom shall I be afraid ''??
of whom shall I be afraid ''??
of whom shall I be afraid ''??
But I am afraid Mr. Wesker's meat and potatoes dish isn't well seasoned enough for local audiences.
I was afraid to look for fear the evil might still be going on.
Morris would later recall an early conversation with Julia: " I was talking to a mass murderer but I was thinking of you ," he said, and instantly regretted it, afraid that it might not have sounded as affectionate as he had wished.
I was also afraid that if my complaint was overruled I would be penalized on the clock when we were in time pressure.
" I have had a wonderful life but it is over and my nerves get worse and I am afraid they will have to take me away.

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