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Page "humor" ¶ 127
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If and you
He said: `` If it's all right with you, Mr. Morgan, I'll sleep out here on the couch.
He added, `` If this doesn't work out, the three of you barricade yourself in the house and talk terms with them ''.
If you want to see '' --
If you were a man '' --
If you ever try anything without my orders I'll kill you ''.
`` If you hadn't I'd have killed you ''.
If you take the one, you'd better take both ''.
If you don't leave this country within 3 days, your life will be taken the same as Powell's was.
If we was both armed, you wouldn't talk so tough ''.
`` If you spot Carmer give a yell before you move in ''.
I showed her the shower and tub, and she said, smiling, `` If you really don't mind, I think I'll get clean in the shower, then soak for a few minutes in your tub.
If I even hint at it do you think it will matter that you are his nephew -- and not even a blood nephew ''??
If you tell him I made a pass at you he might think you misunderstood something I said or did, so instead of just telling him I made a pass, say I tried to date you and that you agreed so you could prove to him what a louse I really am.
Fruit compote: `` If you think I would understand it '' ; ;
If you want to get them aired ''
`` If you want to see something, he's back on the other side by the trunk of the car ''.

If and can
If any of us miss, they can pick up the pieces.
`` If you can conveniently let me have twenty dollars '', he wrote one friend in 1791 when he was Secretary of the Treasury.
If we cannot stop warfare in our own economic system, how can we expect to abolish it internationally??
If our sincerity is granted, and it is granted, the discrepancy can only be explained by the fact that we have come to believe hearsay and legend about ourselves in preference to an understanding gained by earnest self-examination.
If Mrs. Wright doesn't accept the terms in the morning, I'll go either to Tokyo or to Holland, to do what I can.
If within one year you can make a success out of the American, you can practically name your own salary thereafter.
If it is not one of his best books, it can only be considered unsatisfactory when compared with his own Garibaldi.
If there be a disinterested patriot in America, 'tis General Washington, and his bravery, none can question ''.
`` If you can firmly make the good knight sure to pleasure our Corporation '', Sturley wrote, `` besides that ordinary allowance for your diet you shall have 20 for recompence ''.
If man is actually the product of his environment and if science can discover the laws of human nature and the ways in which environment determines what people do, then someone -- a someone probably standing outside traditional systems of values -- can turn around and develop completely efficient means for controlling people.
If the manner of his passing moves the nations to act in the spirit of his dedication the sore issues that plague the world can yet be resolved with reason and justice.
If they do as well as they did in 1960 there can be no complaint.
If he can bounce back with one of those 25 home runs years, the club will have to be better off offensively.
If it will simply delay the debates until the qualifications are closed next spring, and then carry all the candidates on a tour of debates, it can provide a service to the state.
`` If the day should ever come that foreign invaders swarm ashore along the Gulf Coast '', the account reads, `` they can count on heavy opposition from a group of commando-trained telephone employees -- all girls.
If we cluster together, the redcoats can make an advantage out of it, but there's not a blessed thing they can do with two or three of us except chase us, and we can outrun them ''.
If there is anything which we can do in the executive branch of the Government to speed up the processes by which we come to decisions on matters on which we must act promptly, that in itself would be a major contribution to the conduct of our affairs.
If the target can change its position significantly during the 30 minutes the missile is in the air on its way, the probability of the missile destroying the target is drastically reduced.
If your state has no provisions for the numbering of pleasure boats, you must apply for a number from the U.S. Coast Guard for any kind of boat with mechanical propulsion rated at more than 10 horsepower before it can be used on Federal waterways.
If there are any major restrictions, they usually can be obtained in printed form.
Note: If 1/2-inch panel board is used inside and out, or 5/8-inch one side and 3/8-inch the other, and 1/8-inch glass is used, stock lumber in Af, Af, and Af can be used in making the glass panels.

If and fix
The Vice President said, `` If you hear of any names that would fix me cheap in return for advertising they decorated the Vice President's home, let me know.
If the balance factor becomes − 2 or + 2 then the subtree is unbalanced and needs to be rotated to fix it.
If we accept the date 480 for his birth, we may fix the date of his abandonment of his studies and leaving home at about 500.
If the player tried to summon the Implementers, the game would suddenly produce a vision of Dave Lebling and Marc Blank at their computers, surprised at this " bug " in the game and working feverishly to fix it.
If it is not possible to fix the broken ligament, other procedures such as the Brunelli procedure can correct the instability.
If, for example, developers are rewarded by the number of bugs they fix, they will naturally fix the easiest bugs first — leaving the hardest, and probably most risky or critical, to the last possible moment.
If the management ethos is to reward the number of bugs fixed, then some developers may quickly write sloppy code knowing they can fix the bugs later and be rewarded for it, whereas careful, perhaps " slower " developers do not get rewarded for the bugs that were never there.
If a received signal is too strong a temporary fix is to wrap the cable around a pencil until the desired level of attenuation is achieved.
* If we fix a homomorphism of abelian groups, we can consider the category consisting of all pairs where is an abelian group and is a group homomorphism with.
If a direct visual fix cannot be taken, it is important to take into account the curvature of the Earth when calculating line-of-sight from maps.
In 1788, George Washington said, " No colony in America was ever settled under such favorable auspices as that which has just commenced at the Muskingum ... If I was a young man, just preparing to begin the world, or if advanced in life and had a family to make provision for, I know of no country where I should rather fix my habitation ...".
If there is no common acceptance, there are provisions in the Code to fix a name-bearing type specimen which will be binding for the users of that name.
* Cost and demand differences between firms: If costs vary significantly between firms, it may be impossible to establish a price at which to fix output.
If a cyanobacterium is present, as a primary partner or another symbiont in addition to green alga as in certain tripartite lichens, they can fix atmospheric nitrogen, complementing the activities of the green alga.
If the kindling does not catch fire, the fire-builder must gather more tinder, determine what went wrong and try to fix it.
" If it ain't broke don't fix it.
If the majority of those present think it was not a further vote must be taken to fix the penalty for the arfertur.
If the builder fails to do this or has gone out of business, NHBC will take responsibility to fix the defect.
" He added, " If there were problems with the firm's vetting process, we should fix the vetting process, not drop the representation.
*" If you believe that you can damage, then believe that you can fix ".
There was a saying at that time about Zhou Yu's skill in music, " If the tune has a problem, Zhou Yu will fix it.
If the fix works, that fact is further recorded, along with the configuration of the presenting system, into a solutions database.
If there was not going to be enough of the old money to fix all the problems facing our country and our society ", Edgar argued, " Why not make a new kind of money to pay people for what needs to be done?

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