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Page "Lew Rockwell" ¶ 7
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I and cannot
How he returned in such a ghastly condition, or why, I cannot say.
While my memory holds with relentless tenacity, as I cannot too often stress, to my wrongs, when it comes to my shames, it gestures and jokes and toys with chronology like a prestidigitator in the hope of distracting me from them.
I cannot express to you the depth of my conviction that, in our own and free world interest, we must co-operate with others to help these people achieve their legitimate ambitions, as expressed in their different multi-year plans.
I cannot ''
I cannot remember Dr. Gregory's reply, if, indeed, he made one.
Now I learn I cannot enter Germany.
In fact I cannot imagine myself condemning a man to the noose or the electric chair if I had to take, as an individual, the responsibility for his death.
Just as I know I would make a bad soldier even though I cannot sincerely call myself a pacifist, so too I would not be either a hangman by profession or, if I could avoid it, even a member of a hanging jury.
I know, that my son wants control and direction, but being autistic myself I cannot give full control or direction.
I submit that it cannot be dismissed simply by saying we are not facing the facts of life.
I suppose I am missing some elementary point but I honestly cannot see how two wrongs can make a right!!
Now, more than five years later, I cannot in any realistic sense be called a trained soldier.
Even apart from the fact that now at the age of 31 my personal life is being totally disrupted for the second time for no very compelling reason -- I cannot help looking around at the black leather jacket brigades standing idly on the street corners and in the taverns of every American city and asking myself if our society has gone mad.
I cannot accomplish this if you will not help me ''.
I cannot think things out too well.
Why it was ever forgotten for even a moment I cannot say because it works perfectly for everyone, no matter whether he has short or long thigh-bone lengths!!

I and remember
I remember being told it would happen so fast people would think it took place overnight.
Later I would remember what this pompous little man had told me about the worth of a ticket.
It was a disturbingly familiar face, too, but I couldn't remember where we had met.
`` When I was in college '', I grinned, `` I remember a poem I had to read in my lit class.
I don't even remember who wrote it but it was one of those 15th or 16th century poets.
`` Seems to me I don't remember altering any law about that ''.
You probably would not remember, since you never seemed to remember even the same moments as I, much less their intensity, one sunny midday on Fifth Avenue when you had set out with me for some final shopping less than a week before the wedding you staged for me with such reluctance at the Farm.
When I returned to make my report, the Hetman did not remember having sent me on the secret mission.
I remember one day when Mr. Hearst ( and I never knew why he liked me, either ) sent the Hetman a telegram: `` Please find some more reporters like that young man from Denver ''.
After they had paid all his debts and the funeral costs, Ralph and Fred had some fourteen thousand dollars, as I remember, with which to pay the bequests.
I remember him pointing out of the window and saying that he wished he could live to see another spring but that he wouldn't.
I have known some men and women who said that the selves they are told about or even remember seem utter strangers to them now ; ;
I would, however, like to suggest that, wrong though I may be, the tendency to see dilemmas rather than solutions is one of which I have been a victim ever since I can remember, and therefore not merely a senile phenomenon.
Apropos of what some would call cynicism, I remember an anecdote the source of which I forget.
All I could remember was Billie Dove pasted over the ceiling of my big brother's room.

I and day
It was, I felt, possible that they were men who, having received no tickets for that day, had remained in the hall, to sleep perhaps, in the corners farthest removed from the counter with its overhead light.
I felt strongly attached to the hall, however, and hardly a day passed when I did not go to look at it from a distance.
The arrangement I had with him was to work four hours a day.
I quit work at my usual hour as if this day was no different from other days.
My curiosity was sharpened a day or two before the interview by a conversation I had with a well-informed teacher of literature, a Jesuit father, at a conference on religious drama near Paris.
I saw a piece the other day assailing William Buckley, author of Man And God at Yale and publisher of The National Review, as no conservative at all, but an old liberal.
I had had difficulties from the very first day.
I worked for a day on this plainly ridiculous assignment and consulted several of my own well-informed sources.
One day I tired of following the Hetman's advice of `` shadowing '' and of the `` ring-around-the-rosie '' approach to a report that Enrico Caruso had pinched a lady's hip while visiting the Central Park monkey house.
No matter how large the fire, I couldn't seem to shake off the chill that day.
I've had a trying day and I just can't make it out again '', I told them.
I suppose the day will inevitably come when the area will be encrusted with developments, but at present it is deserted and seductive.
I asked one day what he was doing.
But one day came the voice of a man I had known when he was a boy, and I later remembered that this boy, thirty years before, had struck me as coming to no good.
Those famous lines of the Greek Anthology with which a fading beauty dedicates her mirror at the shrine of a goddess reveal a wise attitude: `` Venus, take my votive glass, Since I am not what I was, What from this day I shall be, Venus, let me never see ''.
And so the young minister resigned, to go and study and pray, having never passed a day, he told his parishioners, when `` I did not gain from you far more than I ever gave to you ''.
As a business man I have to use the telephone constantly, from three to four hours a day.

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