Critic Josip Novakovich, who compared One of the Guys to A Confederacy of Dunces, has said, " If you read the book in public, you will laugh so much and go through so many facial expressions that you'll run the risk of having the police called to check you out.

If Washington was first given the nickname during the French and Indian War, it may have gained new meaning for the Iroquois during the Revolution, when individual members of four out of the six nations of the Iroquois Confederacy fought against Washington's armies.

If he had married her, he'd have been asking for trouble.

If the bluff failed and they ran into trouble, Brannon had told the others, they would withdraw -- and he would come after his son another time.

If he wondered whether the attackers would allow him to pull away unmolested, he had his answer a moment later.

If the Union conceded this to them, the same right must be conceded to each remaining state whenever it saw fit to secede: This would destroy the federal balance between it and the states, and in the end sacrifice to the sovereignty of the states all the liberty the citizens had gained by their Union.

If any had escaped expulsion by hiding, they certainly would not frequent the market-place.

If a child had a single drop of Negro blood, he would revert to the ancestral line which, except as slaves under a superior race, had not made one step of progress in 3,000 years.

If he had been `` liquidated '' in some way, he would have become a martyr, a rallying point for people who shared his ideas.

If in any one calculation Ptolemy had had to invoke 83 epicycles all at once, while Copernicus never required more than one third this number, then ( in the sense obvious to Margenau ) Ptolemaic astronomy would be simpler than Copernican.

If you had screamed right there in the street where we stood, I could not have felt more fear.

If to be innocent is to be helpless, then I had been -- as are we all -- helpless at the start.

If Hammarskjold had not wanted the list disposed of in this manner, and if Bang-Jensen had not wanted it -- who had ordered it??

If Gorton wanted peace and quiet for his complicated meditations this is where he should have had it.

If his circumspection in regard to Philip's sensibilities went so far that he even refused to grant a dispensation for the marriage of Amadee's daughter, Agnes, to the son of the dauphin of Vienne -- a truly peacemaking move according to thirteenth-century ideas, for Savoy and Dauphine were as usual fighting on opposite sides -- for fear that he might seem to be favoring the anti-French coalition, he would certainly never take the far more drastic step of ordering the return of Gascony to Edward, even though, as he admitted to the English ambassadors, he had been advised that the original cession was invalid.

If this capacity had not failed them, they would see that their enemy has made a disastrous miscalculation.

If he had had a son, he would tell him, `` Gather ye rosebuds while ye may This same flower that smiles today tomorrow will be dying ''.

If he had any worries, it was only the small ones, about Mother in New York, and his daughter Edwina and what she might be doing at this hour, with her Aunt Asia, in Philadelphia.

If we had, then one of us would have had to go instead.

If he had income other than wages subject to withholding, he may be required to file Form 1040.

If our SAC bombers were, today, capable of surviving a surprise missile attack and because of infinite dispersion or long endurance had the capability to strike at Russia again, and again, and again, those bombers would unquestionably assure our military dominance.

If he hoped for such a marriage as a route to power, he was unsuccessful, though his secret marriage to Katherine Parr, Elizabeth's guardian, in late April 1547 was viewed by some as an attempt to become close to the young princess.

If Scottish mine owners had hoped to remove a potential labour agitator from their midst by blacklisting Hardie from work in the mines, their action proved to be a major miscalculation.

If Swift hoped that the Tale of a Tub would win him a living, he would have been disappointed.

If successful, Yung Wing was slated to head a coalition government of revolutionary forces while Lea and his fellow conspirators hoped to receive wide-ranging economic concessions from the new government.

If Xerxes could destroy the Allied navy, he would be in a strong position to force an Allied surrender ; conversely by avoiding destruction, or as Themistocles hoped, by destroying the Persian fleet, the Allies could prevent conquest from being completed.

He said that he hoped his faith was apparent to others: " If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me.

If the killed whale was pleased to ( during its being a guest for a half year ), then it can be hoped that it will return later, too: thus, also the future whale hunts will succeed.

If Norquay hoped to silence the strongest opposition voice by this tactic, he was unsuccessful: Greenway won the riding by 330 votes to 244.

If awarded a FIT contract, WindShare hoped to be looking for investors by the summer of 2010.

If no candidates had been put forward to oppose Turia, she would have been declared the winner without a vote-this initially appeared possible, and given the cost of a by-election ( estimated at almost NZ $ 500, 000 ), many hoped that a vote could be avoided.

If one was caught, the other, it was hoped, would get through.

Cali Ruchala, the co-founder, editor, and columnist of the periodical, said, " If there's anything I've tried to illustrate with Sobaka, anything I've hoped to hammer into the heads of everyone within a mile radius of our paper abode, it's to believe nothing you don't see with your own two eyes – and to make an effort to see as much as possible.

If you should be so fortunate as to execute this business successfully in Virginia you are then to proceed immediately to the southward and make yourself master of such forces as the enemy may have both in North and South Carolina ... Notwithstanding these particular orders, which it is hoped you will be able to execute, if bad winds, or stormy weather, or any other unforeseen accident or disaster disenable you so to do, you are then to follow such courses as your best Judgment shall suggest to you as most useful to the American cause and to distress the Enemy by all means in your power.

Ultimately, De Geer hoped his studies of varves would explain the fundamental cause of Ice Ages-" If the last glaciation everywhere should show to be synchronous and the origin of the last Ice Age thus to be of a general nature, the assumption of a cosmic cause would scarcely be avoidable.

If this mission is successful, it is hoped that the LISA mission will be launched a few years later, current estimates are around 2018.

By doing so the OUN-B hoped to eventually overwhelm the German occupation authorities (" If there were fifty policemen to five Germans, who would hold power then ?").

If Hart's suggestion that Ælfgifu was of royal Mercian descent and related to the latter family is correct, it might have been hoped that the marriage would give Eadwig some political advantage in exercising West-Saxon control over Mercia.

Khayyam also wrote that he hoped to give a full description of the algebraic solution of cubic equations in a later work: ' If the opportunity arises and I can succeed, I shall give all these fourteen forms with all their branches and cases, and how to distinguish whatever is possible or impossible so that a paper, containing elements which are greatly useful in this art will be prepared.

" Gordon also hoped for a happy ever after type ending for the two characters if they were to ever leave the serial commenting: " If I had it my way, and I got to write the scripts then I'd make it happily ever after, Martha and Jack riding off into the sunset.

`` If you spot Carmer give a yell before you move in ''.

If Jews are identified as a religious body in a controversy that comes before a national or international tribunal, it is obviously compatible with the goal of human dignity to protect freedom of worship.

If this practice should take root and spread, the man who submits a manuscript to a publisher will find himself reviewed before he is accepted and publication will become a sort of post-mortem formality.

If you use a fiscal year, a year ending on the last day of any month other than December, your return is due on or before the 15th day of the 4th month after the close of your tax year.

If you mail A return or tax payment, you must place it in the mails in ample time to reach the district director on or before the due date.

If A taxpayer dies, the executor, administrator, or legal representative must file the final return for the decedent on or before the 15th day of the 4th month following the close of the deceased taxpayer's normal tax year.

If your state has no provisions for the numbering of pleasure boats, you must apply for a number from the U.S. Coast Guard for any kind of boat with mechanical propulsion rated at more than 10 horsepower before it can be used on Federal waterways.

If you plan to visit any of these countries, you can obtain your International Driving Permit before you leave at a nominal fee -- around $3.00.

If, at any time during the assignment pass, the compiler finds that there are no more index words available for assignment, the warning message `` No More Index Words Available '' will be placed in the object program listing, the table will be altered to show that index words 1 through 96 are available, and the assignment will continue as before.

If the compiler finds that there are no more electronic switches available for assignment, the warning message `` No More Electronic Switches Available '' will be placed in the object program listing, the table will be altered to show that electronic switches 1 through 30 are available, and assignment will continue as before.

If we consider a process in which the outcome of one stage is known before passage to the next, then the principle of optimality shows that the policy in subsequent stages should be optimal with respect to the outcome of the first.

If the wedding party lasted late, and the travel schedule means there are only a few hours before resuming the trip or making an early start, the husband may forestall tensions and uncertainties by confiding to his bride that lying in each other's arms will be bliss enough for these few hours.

If the early approaches are wise, understanding and patient, the satisfactions of marital fulfillment will probably be discovered before the marriage is much older.

If you are not well acquainted with the area in which you wish to locate, or if you are not sure that you and your family will like and make a success of farming, usually you would do better to rent a place for a year or two before you buy.

If it was designed to put me on the spot, it would have to have been written before Peralta ever called me in on the case ''.

If you draw the short straw I'll lend you some bread, like fifty bucks, before I take off to visit my sister in Frisco.

Thereupon Hwang Pah said: `` If I knew thou art an Arhat, I would have doubled you up before thou got over there ''!!

If 500 Japanese were ordered to hold a position, we had to kill 495 before it was ours -- and then the last five killed themselves ''.

If he died before she did, she would never be unable to resist opening it.

If the media agency responsible for the authorized production allows material from fans, what is the limit before legal constraints from actors, music, and other considerations, come into play?

If there is a substantial difference between characters ' ranks, the conflict is generally over before the weaker character can react.

If the Christian faith fell into ruin in his kingdom, if the clergy were too ignorant to understand the Latin words they butchered in their offices and liturgies, if the ancient monasteries and collegiate churches lay deserted out of indifference, he was answerable before God, as Josiah had been.

If a flame is held before the lips while these words are spoken, it flickers more during aspirated nitrate than during unaspirated night rate.

If a player holds onto his stock, he runs the risk that the acquired chain may not reemerge before the game ends.

If a cerebral AVM is detected before a stroke occurs, usually the arteries feeding blood into the nidus can be closed off to avert the danger.