How he returned in such a ghastly condition, or why, I cannot say.

While my memory holds with relentless tenacity, as I cannot too often stress, to my wrongs, when it comes to my shames, it gestures and jokes and toys with chronology like a prestidigitator in the hope of distracting me from them.

I cannot express to you the depth of my conviction that, in our own and free world interest, we must co-operate with others to help these people achieve their legitimate ambitions, as expressed in their different multi-year plans.

I cannot ''

I cannot remember Dr. Gregory's reply, if, indeed, he made one.

Now I learn I cannot enter Germany.

In fact I cannot imagine myself condemning a man to the noose or the electric chair if I had to take, as an individual, the responsibility for his death.

Just as I know I would make a bad soldier even though I cannot sincerely call myself a pacifist, so too I would not be either a hangman by profession or, if I could avoid it, even a member of a hanging jury.

I know, that my son wants control and direction, but being autistic myself I cannot give full control or direction.

I submit that it cannot be dismissed simply by saying we are not facing the facts of life.

I suppose I am missing some elementary point but I honestly cannot see how two wrongs can make a right!!

Now, more than five years later, I cannot in any realistic sense be called a trained soldier.

Even apart from the fact that now at the age of 31 my personal life is being totally disrupted for the second time for no very compelling reason -- I cannot help looking around at the black leather jacket brigades standing idly on the street corners and in the taverns of every American city and asking myself if our society has gone mad.

I cannot accomplish this if you will not help me ''.

I cannot think things out too well.

Why it was ever forgotten for even a moment I cannot say because it works perfectly for everyone, no matter whether he has short or long thigh-bone lengths!!

I remember being told it would happen so fast people would think it took place overnight.

Later I would remember what this pompous little man had told me about the worth of a ticket.

It was a disturbingly familiar face, too, but I couldn't remember where we had met.

`` When I was in college '', I grinned, `` I remember a poem I had to read in my lit class.

I don't even remember who wrote it but it was one of those 15th or 16th century poets.

`` Seems to me I don't remember altering any law about that ''.

You probably would not remember, since you never seemed to remember even the same moments as I, much less their intensity, one sunny midday on Fifth Avenue when you had set out with me for some final shopping less than a week before the wedding you staged for me with such reluctance at the Farm.

When I returned to make my report, the Hetman did not remember having sent me on the secret mission.

I remember one day when Mr. Hearst ( and I never knew why he liked me, either ) sent the Hetman a telegram: `` Please find some more reporters like that young man from Denver ''.

After they had paid all his debts and the funeral costs, Ralph and Fred had some fourteen thousand dollars, as I remember, with which to pay the bequests.

I remember him pointing out of the window and saying that he wished he could live to see another spring but that he wouldn't.

I have known some men and women who said that the selves they are told about or even remember seem utter strangers to them now ; ;

I would, however, like to suggest that, wrong though I may be, the tendency to see dilemmas rather than solutions is one of which I have been a victim ever since I can remember, and therefore not merely a senile phenomenon.

Apropos of what some would call cynicism, I remember an anecdote the source of which I forget.

All I could remember was Billie Dove pasted over the ceiling of my big brother's room.

`` I don't have many strays coming to my front door '', he said.

`` All my life '', he said, `` I tried.

`` I hate to leave my garden '', Gavin said.

I loved my garden ''.

`` I never felt better in my life '', Fiske blustered.

In the brief moment I had to talk to them before I took my post on the ring of defenses, I indicated I was sickened by the methods men employed to live and trade on the river.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Gray Eyes rushing at me with a knife.

I could see them in my sights.

I found his chest in my sights.

At the last second I dropped my sights from the bare chest and bright red circle to the chest of his pony.

In my sights I watched him looming bigger and bigger.

Such was my state of mind that I did not question the possibility of this ; ;

I would turn away from my writing in the hope of getting a good look at them but I never quite succeeded.

Now, here was something of obvious importance to me, yet when I reached for the tickets he snatched them away from my hand.

I withdrew my hand.

Having nothing else to do except wait for my forms to be processed, I gave myself over to speculations concerning the hall itself.

For although I had crossed a corner of the hall on my way to the toilet I still could not tell for sure how far to the rear the darkness extended.

This light did not penetrate very far back into the hall, and my eyes were hindered rather than aided by the dim daylight entering through the fan vents when I tried to pick out whatever might be lying, or squatting, on the floor below.

No sooner would I turn my head away from the counter before he would address me, at times quite sharply, in order to bring back my attention.