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Page "mystery" ¶ 1085
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I and myself
As I dug in behind one of the bales we were using as protection, I grudgingly found myself agreeing with Oso's logic, especially when I imagined what would have happened to Missy if Old Knife's large party of screeching warriors had overrun our company.
Still, I was disgusted with myself for agreeing with Montero's methods.
Having nothing else to do except wait for my forms to be processed, I gave myself over to speculations concerning the hall itself.
I had for some time been hoping, in vain, for one of the dim figures to pass between the fan vents and myself.
I wished to prepare myself but did not even know what sort of clothes I ought to be wearing.
For weeks I wandered about this neighborhood of warehouses and garages, truck terminals and taxi repair shops, gasoline pumps and longshoremen's lunch counters, yet never did I cease to feel myself a stranger there.
If I could make myself feel the same way
I myself was fond of him but what a young woman half his age saw in him was a mystery to me.
Time's editor, Thomas Griffith, in his book, The Waist-High Culture, wrote: `` most of what was different about it ( the Deep South ) I found myself unsympathetic to.
The design is determined emotionally: `` I must reach into myself for the spring that will send me catapulting recklessly into the chaos of event with which the dance confronts me ''.
But I would never have thought of it myself ''.
Once, then -- for how many years or how few does not matter -- my world was bound round by fences, when I was too small to reach the apple tree bough, to twist my knee over it and pull myself up.
A dear, respected friend of mine, who like myself grew up in the South and has spent many years in New England, said to me not long ago: `` I can't forgive New England for rejecting all complicity ''.
Also, I am convinced that if my company were a sole proprietorship instead of a partnership, I would have been even abler to solve long-range problems for myself and my fellow-employees.
I had read the story many times without asking myself why it affected me or caring why it did.
Later Helion wrote of this phase: `` For years I built for myself a subtle instrument of relationships -- colors and forms without a name.
`` I arrived in the United States with the idea of establishing myself there more or less permanently and finding inspiration for new compositions ''.
Here Wright gave a slight sigh of weariness, and continued, `` It means more long years lived across the social grain of the life of our people, making shift to live in the face of popular disrespect and misunderstanding as I best can for myself and those dependent upon me ''.
Although his tender nights were not the ones I dreamed of, nor was it for yachts, sports cars, tall drinks, and swimming pools, nor yet for money or what money buys that I burned, I too was burning and watching myself burn.

I and had
And you wanted no part of me when I had so much to give.
In the brief moment I had to talk to them before I took my post on the ring of defenses, I indicated I was sickened by the methods men employed to live and trade on the river.
Next to him was a young boy I was sure had sat near me at one of the trading sessions.
At first I thought he had missed.
I saw the clergyman kneel for a moment by the twitching body of the man he had shot, then run back to his position.
Later I would remember what this pompous little man had told me about the worth of a ticket.
One afternoon, upon receiving permission and the necessary instructions from the clerk, I had visited the toilet adjoining the hall.
For although I had crossed a corner of the hall on my way to the toilet I still could not tell for sure how far to the rear the darkness extended.
I could observe the two fans down at the end, but their size in themselves meant nothing to me as long as I had no measure of comparison.
It was, I felt, possible that they were men who, having received no tickets for that day, had remained in the hall, to sleep perhaps, in the corners farthest removed from the counter with its overhead light.
And I had hardly finished my business in the toilet on the aforementioned occasion when the lights in that place, like the hall lights controlled from the switch in the office, flicked off and on impatiently.
I had signed it off on the forms.
Although I had been inside it I had not yet seen it functioning.

I and been
`` I've been mucking in a mine in the San Juan, but I used to work on a ranch.
No one was behind it, but in the rear wall of the office I noticed, for the first time, a door which had been left partially open.
We've been starving and I don't like to starve ''.
At once my ears were drowned by a flow of what I took to be Spanish, but -- the driver's white teeth flashing at me, the road wildly veering beyond his glistening hair, beyond his gesticulating bottle -- it could have been the purest Oxford English I was half hearing ; ;
There had been a good second or two during which my muffler had been blowing out, and now I was certain I'd seen her somewhere before.
Neither of them, I understood, had been present at the filming session earlier.
If it were not for an old professor who made me read the classics I would have been stymied on what to do, and now I understand why they are classics ; ;
My new Aunt was perhaps three or four years older than I and it had been a long time since I had seen as gorgeous a woman who oozed sex.
I felt that he looked at me coldly and appraisingly and seemed to be uncertain what his attitude towards me should be, but he did not say one word which might indicate that he had been told of advances to his wife.
There had been classroom guffaws which quickly subsided as Professor Griggs said dryly: `` I see your point, Pauson.
From L'Turu, I heard that until about 1850 the people of this island -- which was about the size of Guam or smaller -- had been of both sexes, and that the normal family life of Melanesian tribes was observed here with minor variations.
She's been hangin' around me a lot here lately, and I figgered I might as well's try it.
Besides I heard her old uncle that stays there has been doin' it ''.
I been riding train for a ways now ''.
and if a poll had been taken immediately following the dispatch of troops to Little Rock I believe the majority would have been for the Old South.
The persistent horror of having a malformed child has, I believe, been reduced, not because we have gained any control over this misfortune, but precisely because we have learned that we have so little control over it.

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