`` That was a terrible thing to do '', I said to Oso.

`` But that was war '', I said.

Still, I was disgusted with myself for agreeing with Montero's methods.

In the brief moment I had to talk to them before I took my post on the ring of defenses, I indicated I was sickened by the methods men employed to live and trade on the river.

Next to him was a young boy I was sure had sat near me at one of the trading sessions.

Now under me I could see him for what he really was, a boy dressed up in streaks of paint.

Such was my state of mind that I did not question the possibility of this ; ;

under the circumstances I was only too willing to confess all.

I was nearly thirty at the time.

It was dark and, I sensed, very large ; ;

Sometimes I was aware of people moving about in the darkness.

This impressed me, until I realized how limited was his sphere of influence.

I felt certain he was really a spineless little man.

Once, pressing him, I learned that his job was only part-time, in the afternoons when nothing went on in the hall.

In the mornings, I was informed, fluorescent tubes, similar to the one above the counter, illuminated the entire hall.

I was shown, instead, a batch of white tickets of the sort handed out, he told me, every morning.

Now, here was something of obvious importance to me, yet when I reached for the tickets he snatched them away from my hand.

It was, I felt, possible that they were men who, having received no tickets for that day, had remained in the hall, to sleep perhaps, in the corners farthest removed from the counter with its overhead light.

I felt certain it was self-appointed.

I decided to see no more of the clerk until the processing of my papers was completed.

I was constantly searching for clues around the neighborhood of the hall.

In his Message of December 2, 1862, he put his purpose and his policy in these words -- which I would call the Lincoln Law of Liberty-and-Union: `` In giving freedom to the slave, we assure freedom to the free ''.

Hence the prime issue, as I see it, is whether a democratic or free society can master technology for the benefit of mankind, or whether technology will rule and develop its own society compatible with its own needs as a force of nature.

I cannot express to you the depth of my conviction that, in our own and free world interest, we must co-operate with others to help these people achieve their legitimate ambitions, as expressed in their different multi-year plans.

I do not claim to be free from sin, or from the need for repentance and forgiveness.

He said he was a friend of Heywood Broun who had run a free employment bureau for several months during the depression, but the generous Broun to whom I wrote did not know his name and I somehow conceived the morbid notion that the man in question was prowling round the house.

Facing a prosecution which has demanded the death penalty, he said: ' I have participated in the war against Communism in Korea and at Dienbienphu, and I have helped in the evacuation of North Vietnamese to the free world.

All I ever wanted was to be a free man in my own country.

`` Nothing's free in the whole goddam world '', was all I could think of to say.

So, I say, Mr. Speaker, God bless you and keep you for many years not only for this body but for the United States of America and the free world.

Needless to say, I was furious at this unparalleled intrusion upon free enterprise.

I still recall the mild shock I experienced in reading material of an enthusiastic advocate of the `` clean, healthful, free way of natural life in nudism '', who seemed to brave much misunderstanding and persecution in fine spirit.

And I suggest further that the main cause of the trouble we are in has been the failure of American policy-makers, ever since we assumed free world leadership in 1945, to deal with this problem realistically and seriously.

`` I considered that your views would be best carried out '', he explained, `` by taking women whose progeny will of course be free & more fully extend the philantrophy of Emancipation.

But I had the proof, all documented in a legal agreement which I would show her the moment I was free to do so.

With his free hand he pulled a pad and pencil toward him and began to make notes as he listened, saying, `` Uh-huh '' and `` I see '' at intervals.

That's why I -- why I do a free job now and then.

Being convinced that salvation is alone by accepting Christ as Saviour, and being convicted by the Holy Spirit of my lost condition, I do repent of all effort to be saved by any form of good works, and just now receive Jesus as my personal Saviour and salvation as a free gift from Him.

I believe this government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free.

`` I saw your fire '', she said, speaking slowly, making an effort to control her anger.

Where I go, she goes -- and the kids with us.

I let up on the accelerator, only to gradually reach again the 60 m.p.h. which would, I hoped, overhaul Herry and the blonde, and as there were cars whose drivers apparently had something more important to catch than had I, Mrs. Major Roebuck settled down to practicing on Corporal Johnson the kittenish wiles she would need when making her duty call on Colonel and Mrs. Somebody in Sante Fe.

`` No, I remembered reading about you in the papers and that you lived here, and when it happened all I could think of was '' -- This time she stopped the rush of words herself.

`` And I so want the part '', she said.

As far as I was concerned, she had already and had dandily shown what she could do.

Seeming much relieved, she smiled one of those worth-waiting-for smiles, and I smiled all the way into the bedroom.

I showed her the shower and tub, and she said, smiling, `` If you really don't mind, I think I'll get clean in the shower, then soak for a few minutes in your tub.

True, she was my Aunt, married to an Uncle related to me only by marriage, but why she had married a man twice her age, and more, perhaps, I did not know or much care.

Something clicked in this instance, but I treated her circumspectly and I felt that she knew it, for we both kept our distance.

And then I became aware that she, too, glanced at me surreptitiously.

I felt that her eyes were undressing me as if she were a painter and I a nude model.

Why she married him I do not know.

I was waiting in front of it when she showed up and told me of my Uncle's indisposition.

Even as she was telling me about it I became aware of a give-away flush that suffused her neck and moved upwards to her cheeks, and subconsciously I realized that when she entered the store she did not switch on the lights.