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Page "The Holocaust Industry" ¶ 16
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I and would
I remember being told it would happen so fast people would think it took place overnight.
As I dug in behind one of the bales we were using as protection, I grudgingly found myself agreeing with Oso's logic, especially when I imagined what would have happened to Missy if Old Knife's large party of screeching warriors had overrun our company.
`` That quirt -- I ought to use it on you, where it would do the most good.
I would turn away from my writing in the hope of getting a good look at them but I never quite succeeded.
He pointed out the switch to me and for a moment I foolishly believed that he would let deed follow words.
Later I would remember what this pompous little man had told me about the worth of a ticket.
By counting the number of stalls and urinals I attempted to form a loose estimate of how many men the hall would hold at one time.
No sooner would I turn my head away from the counter before he would address me, at times quite sharply, in order to bring back my attention.
As I had expected, he insisted that my visits to the hall would do nothing to further the process of my application.
What sort of men I would come into contact with, at the hall??
Though I doubted that he would understand me, I told the director my motives for applying.
Donald Kruger would like nothing better than to hold him as hostage, and I wouldn't entrust a snake to his tender care.
`` What else would I mean, anyways ''??
`` A body would swear I floated right up here on a cloud ''!!
Forced to realize that this was the end of a very short line I scanned a road marker and discovered what the end of a slightly longer line would be for the old Mexican: Moriarty, New Mexico.
I would have foregone my romantic chances rather than leave a friend sweltering and dusty and -- Well, at least I wouldn't have shouted back a taunt.
I let up on the accelerator, only to gradually reach again the 60 m.p.h. which would, I hoped, overhaul Herry and the blonde, and as there were cars whose drivers apparently had something more important to catch than had I, Mrs. Major Roebuck settled down to practicing on Corporal Johnson the kittenish wiles she would need when making her duty call on Colonel and Mrs. Somebody in Sante Fe.

I and now
God in Heaven, I can't refuse you now.
`` I don't mind washing dishes now and then '', he said pleasantly.
This desire, I went on, growing voluble as my conviction was aroused, had mounted at such a rate recently that I now found its realization necessary not only to my physical but also to my spiritual wellbeing.
`` Hell, that's all right, buddy '', the Indian ( I now guessed ) said.
There had been a good second or two during which my muffler had been blowing out, and now I was certain I'd seen her somewhere before.
I said, `` O.K., so now only Blake knows.
If it were not for an old professor who made me read the classics I would have been stymied on what to do, and now I understand why they are classics ; ;
and now I think we can use the knowledge they passed on to us.
`` And now '', said Tilghman with deadly calm, `` I'll repeat what I said.
I been riding train for a ways now ''.
I followed them in the jeep and now they did not care.
His London contract was rescinded, and now, he explains cheerfully, as a bright smile lightens his intense, mobile face, `` I conduct only one hundred and twenty concerts ''!!
`` I have just come from viewing a man who had made the fortune of his country, but now is working all night in order to support his family '', he reflected.
And so I would only touch upon it now ( much as I have long wanted to write a book about it ).
Both I and my feelings come up out of a chain of events that fan out into the past into sources that are ultimately very unlike the entity which I now am.
The Commission seems to represent the viewpoint of what I would call the unconscious liberal, but not unconscious enough, to invoke the now taboo symbolism of socialism.
If I now risk some comparisons with Sons And Lovers let it be clear that I am not comparing the two works or judging their merits ; ;
Yet this passion for passion, now that I look back on it with passion spent, seems somewhat overblown and operatic, though as a diva Miss Millay perfectly controlled her notes.
I can see us now.
I fled, however, not from what might have been the natural fear of being unable to disguise from you that the things about my bridegroom -- in the sense you meant the word `` things '' -- which you had been galvanizing yourself to tell me as a painful part of your maternal duty were things which I had already insisted upon finding out for myself ( despite, I may now say, the unspeakable awkwardness of making the discovery on principle, yes, on principle, and in cold blood ) because I was resolved, as a modern woman, not to be a mollycoddle waiting for Life but to seize Life by the throat.

I and say
I just wanted to hear you say so ''.
If you tell him I made a pass at you he might think you misunderstood something I said or did, so instead of just telling him I made a pass, say I tried to date you and that you agreed so you could prove to him what a louse I really am.
I felt that he looked at me coldly and appraisingly and seemed to be uncertain what his attitude towards me should be, but he did not say one word which might indicate that he had been told of advances to his wife.
I must say the figure was well made up.
Of course, males play a role there, but believe me when I say you wouldn't enjoy yourself one bit on Eromonga.
`` I realize that this is hardly the time to say it, Penny '', said Keith.
How he returned in such a ghastly condition, or why, I cannot say.
`` Bastards '', he would say, `` all I did was put a beat to that Vivaldi stuff, and the first chair clobbered me ''!!
I am naive, they say, to make use of such words.
and I have heard many say that they are content to earn a half or a third as much as they could up North because they so much prefer the quieter habits of their home town.
I leave it to the statisticians to say what they were, but I noticed several a few years ago, during an automobile ride from Memphis to Hattiesburg.
The traditional strategy of the South has been to expose the vices of the North, to demonstrate that the North possessed no superior virtue, to `` show the world that '' as James's Christopher Newman said to his adversaries ) `` however bad I may be, you're not quite the people to say it ''.
A man must be able to say, `` Father, I have sinned '', or there is no hope for him.
I want to say more about Gabriel's so-called fundamental law.
Asked which institution most needs correction, I would say the corporation as it exists in America today.
It is to say rather, I believe, that he has brought to bear on the history, the traditions, and the lore of his region a critical, skeptical mind -- the same mind which has made of him an inveterate experimenter in literary form and technique.
For pride's sake, I will not say that the coy and leering vade mecum of those verses insinuated itself into my soul.
At the same time, I am aware that my recoil could be interpreted by readers of the tea leaves at the bottom of my psyche as an incestuous sign, since theirs is a science of paradox: if one hates, they say it is because one loves ; ;

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