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I was trying to help end the killing and the war, but there were times when I was thoughtless and careless about it and I'm very sorry that I hurt them.
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I and was
`` That was a terrible thing to do '', I said to Oso.
`` But that was war '', I said.
Still, I was disgusted with myself for agreeing with Montero's methods.
In the brief moment I had to talk to them before I took my post on the ring of defenses, I indicated I was sickened by the methods men employed to live and trade on the river.
Next to him was a young boy I was sure had sat near me at one of the trading sessions.
Now under me I could see him for what he really was, a boy dressed up in streaks of paint.
Such was my state of mind that I did not question the possibility of this ; ;
under the circumstances I was only too willing to confess all.
I was nearly thirty at the time.
It was dark and, I sensed, very large ; ;
Sometimes I was aware of people moving about in the darkness.
This impressed me, until I realized how limited was his sphere of influence.
I felt certain he was really a spineless little man.
Once, pressing him, I learned that his job was only part-time, in the afternoons when nothing went on in the hall.
In the mornings, I was informed, fluorescent tubes, similar to the one above the counter, illuminated the entire hall.
I was shown, instead, a batch of white tickets of the sort handed out, he told me, every morning.
Now, here was something of obvious importance to me, yet when I reached for the tickets he snatched them away from my hand.
It was, I felt, possible that they were men who, having received no tickets for that day, had remained in the hall, to sleep perhaps, in the corners farthest removed from the counter with its overhead light.
I felt certain it was self-appointed.
I decided to see no more of the clerk until the processing of my papers was completed.
I was constantly searching for clues around the neighborhood of the hall.
I and trying
Looking back I saw a gray-haired man getting out of his halted car and trying to read our license number.
His heart was pounding like a mighty dynamo and he was trying to think, his mind seeming to scream at him like a hurt or frightened child, `` How will I do it??
The Australian stopped trying to talk a pidgin I could understand, and spoke strange words from deep in his chest.
If I am to speak the whole truth about my knowledge of love, I will have to stop trying to emulate the transcendant nightingale.
I was delighted to make that personal contact in such trying and unusual circumstances.
As the field on which my tent was pitched was a favorite natural playground for the kids of the neighborhood, I had made many friends among them, taking part in their after-school games and trying desperately to translate Grimm's Fairy Tales into an understandable French as we gathered around the fire in front of the tent.
I've had a trying day and I just can't make it out again '', I told them.
Never once during the trying thirties did I come so close to succumbing to the private climate of opinion as to grant Russian communism even that most weasel-worded of encomiums `` an interesting experiment ''.
And to top it all I am often sentimental on purpose, trying to prove to myself that I am not afraid of sentiment.
`` For a time I thought of trying to reach the Free Polish Forces, but one thing led to another.
Eileen got to dancing, just a little tiny dancing step to a hummed tune that you could hardly notice, and trying to pick up strange men, but each time I was ready to say to hell with it and walk out she'd pull herself together and talk so understandingly in that sweet husky voice about the good times and the happiness we'd had together and there I was back on the hook.
I was stumbling in my undershirt trying to find my way around her damn kitchenette when I smelt that sickish sweet hairtonic smell.
Afterwards I learned that Eileen had called Thelma on the telephone and made a big scene about Thelma trying to take her husband away.
I didn't say anything, trying to get my throat clear, but I watched him.
I have never seen Caper off his feet -- he seems to know nothing but ' trot ' and keeps trying a little harder if asked to do so.
Louise climbed onto a stool and clutched the hand with which I was trying to hold the phone, claiming my immediate attention on grounds of extreme emergency.
They were, I felt, people invariably trying to prove not who, but what they were, and trying to determine what, not who, others were.
It was for this reason, and no other that I can see, that in September 1912, Braque took the radical and revolutionary step of pasting actual pieces of imitation-woodgrain wallpaper to a drawing on paper, instead of trying to simulate its texture in paint.
I and help
`` I could use some help '', Morgan said finally, `` but I can't afford to pay you anything.
`` Not a danged thing but rattlesnakes, so I reckon I'll get the boss rattler to help me ''.
`` So help me, Crouch, I'd like to kill you where you stand, but, before I do, I'm going to hear you admit killing him.
Others mentioned that I might have had to ask friends or even strangers for help and that to be stranded in a foreign country without sufficient funds did not contribute to international understanding.
I cannot express to you the depth of my conviction that, in our own and free world interest, we must co-operate with others to help these people achieve their legitimate ambitions, as expressed in their different multi-year plans.
That would be a great help, I told him, thanking him for his thoughtfulness.
yet the tide is too strong against us, and I fear ( if the framer of hearts help not ) it will force me to little Patience, a little isle next to your Prudence ''.
From that time to this my religious concern is that I might give effective help to the bringing in of God's kingdom on earth.
I wanted to help so that we could find time to play.
Even apart from the fact that now at the age of 31 my personal life is being totally disrupted for the second time for no very compelling reason -- I cannot help looking around at the black leather jacket brigades standing idly on the street corners and in the taverns of every American city and asking myself if our society has gone mad.
I cannot accomplish this if you will not help me ''.
`` What I want you to do is to go to the market with me early tomorrow morning and help smuggle the hen back into the hotel ''.
I recommend to the Congress the establishment of a permanent Peace Corps -- a pool of trained American men and women sent overseas by the U.S. Government or through private organizations and institutions to help foreign countries meet their urgent needs for skilled manpower.
I tried my hardest, with little help, may I say, from my husband and leading man, but somehow the outside pressures were too severe.
I really loved that boy, and, in a feverish attempt to preserve our marriage and to try to revive the wonderful, wonderful person Letch had once been, I took my troubles to Momma, hoping that her earthy advice would help me.
If, however, it would help to intensify your anguish, I can delimit the powers of a few of the divinities you've affronted and describe the punishment they meted out in one analogous instance.
How often have I looked to Jesus when entering the sick room, asking for His presence and help in my professional duties as I give my talents not only as the world giveth but as one who loves the Saviour and His creatures.
I doubt that `` fear parties '' and `` group confessionals '' will help very much.
When I came into being, 15 years ago, I had one primary purpose: to help men and women everywhere to know God better, and through knowing Him better to become happier and more effective people.
I do this work all on my own, because I understand the difficulties and I want to help these lay-sisters.
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