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Page "fiction" ¶ 722
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I and was
`` That was a terrible thing to do '', I said to Oso.
`` But that was war '', I said.
Still, I was disgusted with myself for agreeing with Montero's methods.
In the brief moment I had to talk to them before I took my post on the ring of defenses, I indicated I was sickened by the methods men employed to live and trade on the river.
Next to him was a young boy I was sure had sat near me at one of the trading sessions.
Now under me I could see him for what he really was, a boy dressed up in streaks of paint.
Such was my state of mind that I did not question the possibility of this ; ;
under the circumstances I was only too willing to confess all.
I was nearly thirty at the time.
It was dark and, I sensed, very large ; ;
Sometimes I was aware of people moving about in the darkness.
This impressed me, until I realized how limited was his sphere of influence.
I felt certain he was really a spineless little man.
Once, pressing him, I learned that his job was only part-time, in the afternoons when nothing went on in the hall.
In the mornings, I was informed, fluorescent tubes, similar to the one above the counter, illuminated the entire hall.
I was shown, instead, a batch of white tickets of the sort handed out, he told me, every morning.
Now, here was something of obvious importance to me, yet when I reached for the tickets he snatched them away from my hand.
It was, I felt, possible that they were men who, having received no tickets for that day, had remained in the hall, to sleep perhaps, in the corners farthest removed from the counter with its overhead light.
I felt certain it was self-appointed.
I decided to see no more of the clerk until the processing of my papers was completed.
I was constantly searching for clues around the neighborhood of the hall.

I and told
I remember being told it would happen so fast people would think it took place overnight.
`` I thought I told you to stay home ''.
Later I would remember what this pompous little man had told me about the worth of a ticket.
Though I doubted that he would understand me, I told the director my motives for applying.
I just do what I'm told, and '' --
I was waiting in front of it when she showed up and told me of my Uncle's indisposition.
I was aware of a humid look in her eyes that told me the time was opportune.
When I show up he will know you are a good wife to have told him about it ''.
I felt that he looked at me coldly and appraisingly and seemed to be uncertain what his attitude towards me should be, but he did not say one word which might indicate that he had been told of advances to his wife.
Though I had a great dread of the island and felt I would never leave it alive, I eagerly wrote down everything she told me about its women.
I told him no, that I had had a very happy childhood.
My great-grandmother, I have been told, made her garden her great pride ; ;
After making a short statement about human rights, and the freedom to travel, I told them I would be going to the Kehl bridge the next morning in order to cross the Rhine into Germany.
`` Well, I might not get that far '', I told them, `` as actually I have no papers to enter Germany and, as a matter of fact, no permit to return to France once I leave ''.
`` No, I have no permission to enter Germany '', I told him.

I and on
I guess you'd better go on in the morning ''.
`` I've been mucking in a mine in the San Juan, but I used to work on a ranch.
I just can't take any chances on getting her pregnant, and if we were sleeping together ''
`` That quirt -- I ought to use it on you, where it would do the most good.
I don't know what goes on around here, and I don't care.
I went to the hall in the afternoons only, on these preliminary matters.
When one of the men in the hall behind us spat on the floor and scraped his boot over the gob of spittle I noticed how the clerk winced.
) hung on a hook on the wall, and underneath it I could see his tie, knotted, ready to be slipped over his head, a black badge of frayed respectability that ought never to have left his neck.
They, and the two large fans which I could dimly see as daylight filtered through their vents, down at the far end of the hall, could be turned on by a master switch situated inside the office.
For although I had crossed a corner of the hall on my way to the toilet I still could not tell for sure how far to the rear the darkness extended.
This light did not penetrate very far back into the hall, and my eyes were hindered rather than aided by the dim daylight entering through the fan vents when I tried to pick out whatever might be lying, or squatting, on the floor below.
And I had hardly finished my business in the toilet on the aforementioned occasion when the lights in that place, like the hall lights controlled from the switch in the office, flicked off and on impatiently.

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